Monday, June 22, 2009

Who the hell hired Ned Flanders???


I think we have all had that feeling of “inadequacy” in our lives before. That feeling of

no matter how much we work out, how much money we spend on clothes or how much we spend sprucing up our 1973 Chevelle its never good enough. I remember walking into a trendy club in Las Vegas once after waiting two hours to get in and the horrible feeling of inadequacy I felt. I may have had my best Union Bay jeans and brand spanking new Van Heusen shirt, but I might as well have had a sign around my neck that said, “Huge douchebag from KC trying to fit in where I don’t belong”.


The Cardinals came into town and bitch slapped us on Friday, pistol whipped us Saturday and left town on Sunday with our girlfriend pregnant and a flaming case of herpes for us to deal with. Now we find out our manager (Ned Flanders)

is hanging out in the Cards dugout before the game doing god (yes I said it in vain) knows what. Perhaps he was looking for advice, perhaps trying to spread the holy gospel to those heathens from the east, but whatever he was doing he shouldn’t have been there. You don’t belittle yourself by going into your rival’s domain. It screams of inadequacy and shouldn’t be done.



I’m tired of Ned Flanders managing this team. I’m tired of God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Grail being involved with my baseball team. If you feel the need to preach to a group of people then go buy a Morton building and put a cross on the front of it. I promise you people will come listen to the fairy tales of yesteryear. Flanders you and your autograph book need to mosey on back down to your ranch in Texas and leave the managing of MLB teams to a professional. Not some guy giving bear hugs to the opposing teams managers and being awe struck by the sight of a 40k seat stadium.


Once again we are the joke of the league and I for am not going to be a part of it. I’ll put my Royals gear away for another year and you’ll be nothing more than an after thought in my nightly viewing schedule.


I experienced 1985 as a young boy and it’s kept me hooked for 24 years on the KC Royals. There are a ton of Royals fans who have never been a part of a winning season, a pennant race or really nothing close to that. That really sucks.

This years KC Royals are much like my 1994 trip to Las Vegas. We have shiny new duds and we talk a good game, but in the end it’s the same dog and pony show. Neither one of us have a chance in hell of scoring.

Letter from an old classmate.

Could someone please translate this? I received this email this morning from an old friend I've not seen or heard from in nearly 10 years.


What going on buddy. I've so damn busy with are
magazine and in life. I might be a dad but the dumb
bitch that pregant. Telling me it somebody else so I
waiting for her to get little farther long and order
dna test. Possibly do in december. She won't tell me
when she's do. But I know It mine because of the beat
in the bottom of my heart. Not counting when I meanten
dates, she shut up. It had been three weeks after I
found out she was pregant. She was cheatting on me
with a friend ( which I thought was friend). Me and
him a little talk on the phone yesterday. I let him
know what his & her concenses wheir going to be. How
everything going for you?
Here my numbers call me some time.
660--9500 Cell
816--8277 Cell
660--3899 Home
888--4307 office hard place to catch me.
I be in the office of the day today
Give me a call sometime. I'am Out!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Fox 4 Weather

I love Don Harmon!


Since we have apocalyptic rain amounts in Kansas City here today I thought I would take a moment to write about my favorite KC weather team.

Nothing spectacular as a group, but individually the Fox 4 weather ensemble shines like a Bud Light can floating down the Kaw River. I’m just going to throw this out there. If you want it take it, if not throw it
back. “Disco” Don Harmon I want to party with you. I’m a loyal follower of yours and a big reason I only tune into Fox 4 in the morning. Quirky, country and a little nutty. That’s why I like my Donnie Harmon. Straight up man crush. Anyone who still lives without a cell phone I’m in awe of. Don if you ever need a wingman at Buffalo Wild Wings after beer league softball hit me up.

Mike Thompson you remind me of my shop teacher back in High School. Mr. Wilder always had some sort of strange colloquialism. He would say, “KC_SportsRadio you sanded that board real good. That’s as smooth as a woodpeckers belly button.” Mike is the spitting image of Mr. Wilder. Listen to Mike long enough and youre bound to hear a few gems. A couple of weeks ago I heard, “Its going to be colder than Aunt Velma after a hysterectomy”. Your solid
Mike don’t ever change and whatever you do don’t look into Loren Halifax’s eyes. They are deadly.

As for you Karli Ritter your performance a couple of Fridays ago in your weather chat was of epic per portions. I haven’t seen a young, cute blonde get harassed that much since I fed Mary
Gilgour a pint of Old Crow and left her passed out at Rockfest in 1996. The verbal barrages by anonymous posters were even making me cringe. I actually thought I clicked the wrong favorites tab and hit the Hustler Forumn button by accident.
http://twitpic.com/58g1t





Joe Lauria you would be a perfect fit for KQ2 in St. Joe. You need to plant a bag of shrooms in Mike Bracciano’s Cutlass Supreme and take over that gig. I have never seen such a mix
and match of jackets, pants and ties in my life. Last August when you were wearing the pin stripe black coat, brown pants and Easter Bunny tie I about lost it. Let me know if you want to head north on I-29. My sister works in the deli department up at Hy-Vee on the Belt Hwy. and I don’t have to tell you that makes her one of the movers and shakers in Joe town. She's got pull and we can get you hooked up.


Monday, June 8, 2009

DJ Jazzy Jeff, Breast Feeding and Twitter

We want Hootie!

I get why black people are upset w/ Power and Light about this whole DJ Jazzy “piggy back on Will Smith” Jeff debacle. The part I’m confused on is the reason why. They shouldn’t be mad about him being forced to shut down. They should be mad about him being invited in the first place. I haven’t seen DJ JJ since 1999 when I caught him on a “Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire” rerun at 4:00 a.m. on TBS. It was that episode where he hits on Hilary and acts like the black “Screech”. Oh I forgot that was every episode.







I’m sure DJ JJ is a fine DJ and can spin and mix with the best. However, I would hope the black community would want the bar set a little higher and demand a bigger name talent. I bet Chris Brown would work really cheap right now.

Also, why is it that every DJ has to have that patented look of only one ear phone on and it pressed up against their shoulder. Don’t conform to the stereotype DJ’s!! Bust out and use both of those ear pieces!







Breast Feeding

The wife has breast fed our son since he came out of the "candy land chute" and it’s been great for all of us. I truly make out the best though because she is the only one who can handle those late night feedings. I’m the John Mizerock of our household and that role plays well to my strengths. I give them both “at a boys” when they are done at the training table and as long as I don’t speak or do anything stupid I’m in the clear.

Twitterholic

Speaking of my wife it’s getting harder and harder to hide my twitter addiction from her. She doesn’t like it, she doesn’t understand it and she thinks it should be reserved for 13 year old girls and not a grown man nearing 40. I’ve tried explaining it to her, but I wind up sounding like I went to college and earned a major in pedophilia and had an internship as a “peeping tom”. Better close for now. Gotta run to Boy Scouts tonight.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

My afternoon with Chris & Cowboy

(This was my first dedicated attempt at listening to Chris & Cowboy on 610 Sports.)

1st Hr.

Not sure why there wasn’t any Royals discussion in the first hour? You’re going to have a full summer to fill when they fall completely out of the race. Why not talk about them why they are still somewhat relevant. The rehashed Todd Haley anecdote about if players like him has been done and done and done. ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. Unless you can get players on the record and take the “anonymous” tag off them what is their really to talk about. Everyone knows he might be an a$$, but as of right now its talk w/ no proof.

The second segment of the NFL running ads on their jerseys. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Why not talk about the possibility of the NFL running all of their games on a PPV basis. I would think that would elicit more of a response.

The last segment of the first hour was the game. The only people who are interested in this are the hosts and the person playing the game. Name six types of cigarettes, six restaurants on the plaza in ten seconds????? Hence the 6 and 10 game. Guys I’m sorry, but in my opinion it’s just not enthralling radio. Most of the callers considered it a joke and were on there more to clown than anything else. Also make it more personable. You might find some diamonds in the rough if you ask what they do, how come they are not working, etc…

(Why not have a “name the guest” game? I know 810 has done this, but it’s been many years. One question yes or no answer so on and so forth. This would have been perfect for the Okoye segment. That certainly would have held my attention span longer than what you have in place now.)

2nd Hr.

Brandon Marshall, Mike Vick, Roger Goodell. More NFL no Royals. Not only NFL, but national stuff that doesn’t really concern the Chiefs. I can get national sports talk by Mike and Mike, Rome, satellite radio etc… I listen to local sports talk to hear about local sports. I want to hear why Ho Ram is still on the team. I want to know why TPJ is still on a major league roster let alone him now being anointed our everyday SS by Hillman. What about the MLB draft coming up and a breakdown of that or local prospects? A little nugget you could also discuss is why in the world the Royals are hosting a try out camp in Trenton, Mo.??? Trenton freaking Missouri??? Are you kidding me? Why?? Is this our new director of scouting’s idea?

(2nd segment)

Christian Okoye promoting his golf tourney. Relevant stuff, good questions. Short and sweet and not drawn out.

(3rd segment)

Oh lord you guys are doing this game again. Ugghhhhh….. Still no Royals talk….

BTW....I don’t like having one of the co-hosts doing the sports updates.

To slay the giant (KK) you better come up w/ something outside of the box. You guys sound great over the air and have a good chemistry and things flow between you effortlessly. It’s pretty vanilla on the topics IMHO and you seem to be talking about the NFL when I’m guessing most of your listeners are still engaged in the Royals. Say something, do something to get recognized. Make someone mad or prank someone. Get Carl Peterson on the phone. I have to think he would love to talk to you guys for no other reason than to piss off Kietzman. I realize you’re not trying to be the “Morning Zoo”, but get in the forefront somehow.

3rd Hour

Sounds like your doing TO and Larussa and the twitter topic next. Sorry guys gotta run up the dial and see what KK has going.